#SAKZ

Bismillah.


15112014.
0637.

Dia dipanggil kembali untuk bertemu Kekasih Abadi.

Redha.
Namun hati sebak kerana rindu.

Sungguh Mira, I really miss your smile.
I admire how strong you were, fighting until your last breath.

Dan ini ditinta dia, 16 Julai 2014.

Ini milik dia! The picture and writing came together.

"Monthly routine ; Put these pills into smaller packages and store them in respective containers.

I began this routine since January 2014, until now, and who knows until how many months (or probably years) to come. To ease pill intakes, to try to be systematic, to not miss taking any pills. Morning pills, evening pills, before meals, after meals. Been going back and forth every month from Seremban to KL to Ipoh to meet different doctors and experts just to retrieve these 'candies'. The amount of pills goes up and down - depending on my condition. On the average though I take around 15 pills a day.

They are now a part of me. I'm used to them, and am now used to needles and hospitals as well. New discovery for a 21 year old *claps*. Have been making a lot of new friends with the same illness, and also have recognized most of the nurses and patients in the hospital. Slowly tried to absorb the facts then, and still trying up until now. Step by step, go slow. There are a lot to take in, anyway. Life isn't like how it used to be. I have to give up a lot of things.

All praises are to The Almighty, for He knows best. I feel blessed to be tested with such condition at such a young age. I'm able to experience a lot of things and experiment my physical limitations as well. A lot of things need to be changed - no more this, no more that, more of this, more of that. Since it is a lifelong auto-immune disease, of course I need to be cautious and alert all the time. For a healthier me, a brighter future.

Countless thanks and appreciations to my King and Queen, Abah & Umi for the medication payments (hahaha) and neverending moral & spiritual support. Not to forget, they always try to fulfill my needs and wants, though some of them were absurd, ridiculous and bad for my health. Anything to make Amirah happy, ey? B) Also thanks to my beloved Siti Sisters & brother in law for mutual support and understanding. My family is definitely the best!  Now I just need to 'maintain' and stay 'healthy' AT LEAST until my sister's wedding, biiznillah.

Taking a break for one whole semester was the best decision for me. Lord knows how would I be able to cope with the illness without my family around, since I wasn't used to it and it was my first time hearing it - I'm a Journalism major, I don't do Science. After being away from classes for 8 (more or less) months, after getting to know more about the illness, I'm really looking forward to continue my studies in September and to see what my limits are, to challenge myself.

I'm okay, we're okay, all of us are okay. But there's always a better option. Let us strive our best in the remaining days in the month of Ramadhan. Fighting!"

"Wahai jiwa yang tenang! 

Kembalilah kepada Tuhanmu dengan hati yang redha dan diredhaiNya. 

Maka masuklah ke dalam golongan hamba-hambaKu. 

Dan masuklah ke dalam syurgaKu."

89: 27-30

Siti Amirah Kamarul Zaman,
Moga damai disisi Pencipta.
Perjuanganmu sudah selesai, tugasmu sudah usai.

Dan agaknya saat akhir kita bagaimana?
Bak kata Mira, there's always a better option.
Cuma diri sendiri perlu bertindak nak option yang macam mana.




Ya Allah matikan aku dalam ketaqwaan kepadaMu, matikan aku dalam iman kepadaMu, matikanlah aku dengan kesudahan yang baik, jangan Kau matikan aku dengan kesudahan yang buruk.